Sunday, 22 May 2016

A Busy Month Ahead

Indeed, the month of June is set to be a frantic one. Not only do I have two novels – Leisure and House of Fox – coming out, but I also have two launch parties to prepare for.

The first of these parties will, on June 24th, see me jump naked out of a large cake. I have no idea where this will occur, as the plan is to place me in the cake several days beforehand, wheel me to an unknown location and – at a pre-arranged signal - I will leap up starkers and present myself to whoever happens to be in the vicinity. It might be a roomful of teenage hotties taking part in a bikini competition, or a meeting for Feminist Lesbian Ninjas, the fun is all in the not knowing. It should be a darn good day.

The second grand occasion will be a launch party in every sense of the word, as to celebrate the release of House of Fox I intend to literally launch myself from a giant catapult, made entirely out of women’s knickers, from my back garden. There’s no way of telling how far I’ll fly, but given the vast amount of elastic I intend to incorporate into this motherfucker, it could be anything up to three miles. So if you happen to live in the North Wales area, then don’t forget to look upwards on June 30th at seven o’clock, as you may see me go hurtling across the sky.

Plenty for me to do, then: bake a fuck-off big cake and somehow acquire forty-two metric tonnes of women’s underwear. And that’s before I even think about keeping up the social media campaign to mercilessly spam all my friends.

It’s hard work, this erotic writing lark.

No comments:

Post a Comment